How to make Real Steel in 5 easy steps!

  1. Find a musical director with dream and vision. Then when all this falls through say to him " why not turn a bin upside down and whack it?"

  2. Invest small amounts of money into a pile of metal and leave it in a room untill a group of girls come along and find it.

  3. Aimlessly bash away at the piles of metal untill such time when the melodious sounds of "Little Brown Jug" and "Island In the Sun" can be heard echoing around the building.

  4. Call in a tuner and arranger(who will probably charge £100 an hour but will settle for a bottle of rum and his train fare home) and invest vast amounts of time and money into picking a uniform.

  5. Finally when all else fails take 68 steel pans, 27 players, 3 roadies, 5 "responsible adults", a huge bank loan and a partridge in a pear tree and fly them to Barbados for two weeks of cultural exchanging.

Written by Sandra Stevens, past Real Steel Tenor Bass player.